The snow came early and often this year ('07)- often seen as inconvenient for many of us. Between shovelling the driveway (for those of us who don't have snowblowers), driving in the icy conditions and freezing in the mornings and evenings when we have to start our cars, it can be difficult to like. Even if we enjoy the winter sports, such as skiing, the snow can be unpleasant at times. Whether we are fathers or grandfathers, what can help is to look at the snow through the eyes of a child. Children love the snow, plain and simple. This is a great opportunity to spend time with your children and show them that you can be fun. This applies to children of all ages. For example:
If your children are still quite young, bring a saucer toboggan home from work, and whisk them off to the nearest hill for an hour or so before going home for supper. they are guaranteed to have a great time, and as much as you may not want to do it beforehand, you will have a great time, too. Even if you don't have fun, this is about them, not you. Look at it through their eyes: when you were their age, would you have liked it if your dad did this for you? Of course you would have! What a great way to create a special memory for your child or grandchild.
If your children are older, and in their teens, try ambushing them. What am I talking about? At some point when you are home and they are not, or they are inside, go outside and stockpile some snowballs behind a quickly-constructed snow wall. When you know they will be home soon, hide behind the wall and strike! Or get them outside by telling them to shovel the driveway or making some excuse. Yes, they will think you have finally lost it - but they won't waste any time joining in. Before you know it, you will be laughing with them and having a blast, and they will not forget it. They may call you crazy and shake their head at you, but you will have created another memory that will remain with them forever.
Ultimately, the more positive memories we can create for our children, the better off they are. As adults, we have the benefit of having once been the same age as our children or grandchildren,and being older. We know what they like, having been their age, and we know what we wouldhave liked, being older now. Strive for giving them what we would have liked. In the "REAL DADS-to-be" course, one of the first things we focus on is memories of our own father and our own experiences growing up. We have the benefit of choosing from the good and learning from the bad. Oftentimes, it means we need to be conscious of and deliberate in what we do. That's OK. Remember that it is not about us, but about them. You may be tired when you get home, but suck it up just once. As a Guidance Counsellor in a high school, I constantly get teenagers who bemoan the fact that when their father is home, he is usually watching TV and/or sleeping on the couch. He is the ghostly presence in the house that reminds them of what they need but can't have. Don't be that person. It is hard not to be on occasion, as we all are tired after a day's work. Your job is secondary work to raising your kids. Be unexpectedly fun and watch the relationship flourish!
Stay REAL!
If your children are still quite young, bring a saucer toboggan home from work, and whisk them off to the nearest hill for an hour or so before going home for supper. they are guaranteed to have a great time, and as much as you may not want to do it beforehand, you will have a great time, too. Even if you don't have fun, this is about them, not you. Look at it through their eyes: when you were their age, would you have liked it if your dad did this for you? Of course you would have! What a great way to create a special memory for your child or grandchild.
If your children are older, and in their teens, try ambushing them. What am I talking about? At some point when you are home and they are not, or they are inside, go outside and stockpile some snowballs behind a quickly-constructed snow wall. When you know they will be home soon, hide behind the wall and strike! Or get them outside by telling them to shovel the driveway or making some excuse. Yes, they will think you have finally lost it - but they won't waste any time joining in. Before you know it, you will be laughing with them and having a blast, and they will not forget it. They may call you crazy and shake their head at you, but you will have created another memory that will remain with them forever.
Ultimately, the more positive memories we can create for our children, the better off they are. As adults, we have the benefit of having once been the same age as our children or grandchildren,and being older. We know what they like, having been their age, and we know what we wouldhave liked, being older now. Strive for giving them what we would have liked. In the "REAL DADS-to-be" course, one of the first things we focus on is memories of our own father and our own experiences growing up. We have the benefit of choosing from the good and learning from the bad. Oftentimes, it means we need to be conscious of and deliberate in what we do. That's OK. Remember that it is not about us, but about them. You may be tired when you get home, but suck it up just once. As a Guidance Counsellor in a high school, I constantly get teenagers who bemoan the fact that when their father is home, he is usually watching TV and/or sleeping on the couch. He is the ghostly presence in the house that reminds them of what they need but can't have. Don't be that person. It is hard not to be on occasion, as we all are tired after a day's work. Your job is secondary work to raising your kids. Be unexpectedly fun and watch the relationship flourish!
Stay REAL!