The other day I was reminded of my youth when I was moving chairs after church for a subsequent social function and I got into a play-wrestling match with a young man half my age. First of all, I was reminded that I am not as young as I used to be (like I needed a reminder of that!), but secondly, when I got home and told my wife (to her embarrassment) what had happened, my 5-year-old daughter looked up at me with innocent eyes, and asked, “Daddy, why were you fighting?” After reassuring her that we were only playing, I thought of the example fathers set for their kids through their physical actions. Kids are always watching you and listening to you, so be careful what you do and say.
I had a kid in one of my classes a number of years ago who was audibly swearing during class. When I called him on it and asked why he thought he could get away with saying the things he was saying, he seemed genuinely confused and really didn’t know what I was talking about. It turns out this lad hears this language all the time at home, and as I later found out, his parents have some interesting little plants growing in their garage. He quite literally did not know that there was anything wrong or vulgar about the language he was using. It is quite embarrassing to hear your young child say something that is a bit off-colour (not swearing, but not necessarily appropriate), and then quickly realize where he or she originally heard it. Try explaining to your child why they shouldn’t say what they just did when they were trying to be just like Daddy (By the way, if this happens, I have found the best way to handle it is to tell them they shouldn’t say it, and that Daddy shouldn’t have either, and apologize to them – not that this happens a lot…).
Similarly, if your child sees you fighting, yelling at somebody (like a referee), or cheating on your taxes, don’t get mad at them when they get in trouble at school for fighting, talking back to a teacher, or cheating. It is more your fault than theirs because they have not learned right from wrong from their most influential teacher – you! The bottom line is that your kids will do what they see and hear you do – whatever it is – so watch it!
I had a kid in one of my classes a number of years ago who was audibly swearing during class. When I called him on it and asked why he thought he could get away with saying the things he was saying, he seemed genuinely confused and really didn’t know what I was talking about. It turns out this lad hears this language all the time at home, and as I later found out, his parents have some interesting little plants growing in their garage. He quite literally did not know that there was anything wrong or vulgar about the language he was using. It is quite embarrassing to hear your young child say something that is a bit off-colour (not swearing, but not necessarily appropriate), and then quickly realize where he or she originally heard it. Try explaining to your child why they shouldn’t say what they just did when they were trying to be just like Daddy (By the way, if this happens, I have found the best way to handle it is to tell them they shouldn’t say it, and that Daddy shouldn’t have either, and apologize to them – not that this happens a lot…).
Similarly, if your child sees you fighting, yelling at somebody (like a referee), or cheating on your taxes, don’t get mad at them when they get in trouble at school for fighting, talking back to a teacher, or cheating. It is more your fault than theirs because they have not learned right from wrong from their most influential teacher – you! The bottom line is that your kids will do what they see and hear you do – whatever it is – so watch it!