I know you all already know about this aspect of fathering, but based on what I have seen and heard lately, it warrants reminding.
It is an easy time to be a kid, and yet it is also a difficult time to be a kid. Twenty years ago, adults figuratively taught that if you worked hard, “you could have the world in the palm of your hand.” Now, thanks to the internet, children today just need to be holding a computer mouse for that saying to be literally true! Never before has one tool held the possibilities of teaching your child to read one minute and exposing them to hard-core pornography the next. Anything we want to see or read is simply just a click away. It becomes a huge responsibility of the parents to monitor their children’s use of the computer and internet. Not performing this duty could have no ramifications, but it could more likely have highly negative consequences. Ready access to anything we want makes the internet tempting for many adults, as countless fathers suffer with computer pornography addiction. Our pre-teens are curious, and our teens are in the prime of their sexual awakening—how difficult it must be for them! As fathers, we need to help— although it may not be what your child wants at the time, it is what they need.
Computer Locale
Simply stated, there is no reason your child should have the internet in his or her bedroom. It is a parent’s responsibility to monitor what their children are doing on the internet. You child can have privacy in his or her room, but why do they need privacy on the internet? Everybody knows what the ‘net is capable of, but many adults are unaware of what teenagers do with webcams. That kind of interaction is not curbed through parental control programs on your computer—and webcams are very easy to hide as many are smaller than your fist. The internet can be one of the best inventions of our era, but it can also be one of the most dangerous. Pick a common area, such as your kitchen or living room. Make it an area where people can be walking through at any given time, and have the screen facing the room, not tucked in a corner facing the wall. If your child tries to hide the screen from you when you come around, something is wrong. There should be nothing they are looking at or saying to friends in chat rooms that you cannot see. Respect their privacy, but be aware of red flags. You don’t have to get rid of the internet—just know what is going on .
Time
Limit your child’s time on the internet. Kids today spend more time talking to their friends on the computer than they do talking to them in real life! Encourage actual conversations with friends, even by telephone. The best thing a father can do to limit his child’s time on the internet is to provide alternatives. Do something with your child. Kids today crave their father’s attention. A proper amount of a father’s positive interaction will drastically reduce a son’s propensity to crime, a daughter’s promiscuity and have positive results on their achievement in school. If possible, use the internet together. Help your child research for that upcoming assignment.
Other Monitoring
It is true that most kids know more about how to use a computer than many adults. There are still, however, other means available to you to help monitor your children’s use of the internet. There are parental blocks that adults can install to make it difficult for wandering eyes to wander too far. These blocks are not infallible, but they are a very good start. Also, regularly check your browser’s history to see where your children have been. The problem with this one is it can only occur after the fact, but at least it helps you, as a father, to know that an issue may exist and you can immediately talk with your child about it.
Be an Example
If your kids ever see you looking at material that may be deemed inappropriate, you have lost this battle. Be sure to monitor yourself, both in time spent on the internet and in content. Your children are watching what you do with eagle eyes—whether you like it or not—and they will act like you—whether you like it or not...whether they like it or not. When you spend much of your children’s waking time at home on the computer, you are making a value statement to them. You are telling them that the computer is more important than they are. Never give them reason to think that! If that is the impression you give, then you are failing in your job as a father.
It is an easy time to be a kid, and yet it is also a difficult time to be a kid. Twenty years ago, adults figuratively taught that if you worked hard, “you could have the world in the palm of your hand.” Now, thanks to the internet, children today just need to be holding a computer mouse for that saying to be literally true! Never before has one tool held the possibilities of teaching your child to read one minute and exposing them to hard-core pornography the next. Anything we want to see or read is simply just a click away. It becomes a huge responsibility of the parents to monitor their children’s use of the computer and internet. Not performing this duty could have no ramifications, but it could more likely have highly negative consequences. Ready access to anything we want makes the internet tempting for many adults, as countless fathers suffer with computer pornography addiction. Our pre-teens are curious, and our teens are in the prime of their sexual awakening—how difficult it must be for them! As fathers, we need to help— although it may not be what your child wants at the time, it is what they need.
Computer Locale
Simply stated, there is no reason your child should have the internet in his or her bedroom. It is a parent’s responsibility to monitor what their children are doing on the internet. You child can have privacy in his or her room, but why do they need privacy on the internet? Everybody knows what the ‘net is capable of, but many adults are unaware of what teenagers do with webcams. That kind of interaction is not curbed through parental control programs on your computer—and webcams are very easy to hide as many are smaller than your fist. The internet can be one of the best inventions of our era, but it can also be one of the most dangerous. Pick a common area, such as your kitchen or living room. Make it an area where people can be walking through at any given time, and have the screen facing the room, not tucked in a corner facing the wall. If your child tries to hide the screen from you when you come around, something is wrong. There should be nothing they are looking at or saying to friends in chat rooms that you cannot see. Respect their privacy, but be aware of red flags. You don’t have to get rid of the internet—just know what is going on .
Time
Limit your child’s time on the internet. Kids today spend more time talking to their friends on the computer than they do talking to them in real life! Encourage actual conversations with friends, even by telephone. The best thing a father can do to limit his child’s time on the internet is to provide alternatives. Do something with your child. Kids today crave their father’s attention. A proper amount of a father’s positive interaction will drastically reduce a son’s propensity to crime, a daughter’s promiscuity and have positive results on their achievement in school. If possible, use the internet together. Help your child research for that upcoming assignment.
Other Monitoring
It is true that most kids know more about how to use a computer than many adults. There are still, however, other means available to you to help monitor your children’s use of the internet. There are parental blocks that adults can install to make it difficult for wandering eyes to wander too far. These blocks are not infallible, but they are a very good start. Also, regularly check your browser’s history to see where your children have been. The problem with this one is it can only occur after the fact, but at least it helps you, as a father, to know that an issue may exist and you can immediately talk with your child about it.
Be an Example
If your kids ever see you looking at material that may be deemed inappropriate, you have lost this battle. Be sure to monitor yourself, both in time spent on the internet and in content. Your children are watching what you do with eagle eyes—whether you like it or not—and they will act like you—whether you like it or not...whether they like it or not. When you spend much of your children’s waking time at home on the computer, you are making a value statement to them. You are telling them that the computer is more important than they are. Never give them reason to think that! If that is the impression you give, then you are failing in your job as a father.