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Wow!!  What a great time of your life!  You get the best parts of kids and do not have to deal with the worst parts.  Grandfathers can make mistakes, too, there just are not as many for them to make. 

Sharing Wisdom

Grandfathers have the unique position to be the "wise, old man."  An important job for grandfathers is to share his wisdom with fathers - especially if he has made mistakes.  Explain to your kids or your daughter's husband what you did that you would like to do over again to do differently.  Hopefully, you will help someone else avoid your mistakes.  Just do not offer your advice in a condescending tone; you know that men do not respond well to that!  You also get to share your wisdom and expertise with your grandchildren.  Whatever it is you like to do best, teach that skill to your grandchildren.  You may be surprised how many children love to make birdhouses, play sports, play games, paint, be read to, or anything else you can think of.  Mainly, children just like being given attention.  They will love almost anything you want to do with them.  This is your time to just enjoy them!  One word of warning, however, is to remember that they are not your children.  Maintain the values of the parents.  Do not contradict what the parents teach, because then the child will learn that what Daddy and Mommy say are optional or not really important.

Respect Parents' Requests

Avoid things that have been expressly forbidden by the child's parents.  If the parents have said not to give the child candy, do not try to be the good guy and give it to them on the sly.  There is undoubtedly a reason behind the parents' request, and you should honour and respect that.    Much like the above category, you should not undermine the child's parents.

Spoiling Them

Hmmmm...it sounds so bad to say it like that, doesn't it?  I am not going to ruin this one on you.  One of my fondest memories of my grandparents is when we would leave their house after a visit, they always had a present for us that was something we wouldn't always get at home.  I clearly remember my grandparents giving me a Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap.  I treasured that cap and it led to a life-long love of baseball.  Always remember your grandchildren's birthdays, too.  Send them a birthday card with a bit of money in it or something special.  Kids love getting mail.  If you can afford it, you may want to start an education fund for them.  Now, while certain amounts of 'spoiling' is fine, be sure to be reasonable about it.  Never take the child's side over the parent (barring obvious exceptions).  They are still the children and you may need to engage in some light discipline, but that discipline could just be sending them home earlier than expected.  Any kind of physical punishment should, most likely, be avoided by grandparents, unless you have a significant role in raising the child.  Like any other kind of parenting discussed on this site, the mantra seems to be to give the grandchildren your time; although a good grandfather doesn't need to be told that.  Enjoy them, because you know how fast your own kids grew up.

Taking a Greater Role

Some grandfathers might find that suddenly the father (whether it is your son or your daughter's husband) is no longer a part of your grandchild's life.  The best thing you can do is to step up and be the male role model in that child's life.  It is not fair, it is not the way it should be, but for the sake of the child, male or female, a positive male role model is essential.  Make extra time to spend with the child, attend your grandchild's events (sporting events, recitals, etc.), take him/her places.  Children need a positive male role model in their lives, so they know how they should act when they get older or how a future husband should treat them.  There are even many support groups for grandparents in this situation.

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​REAL DADS Support Association
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