"Your kids are watching what you do and say, and will act like you and talk like you, whether you like it or not - whether they like it or not."
"Minute for minute, the single strongest influence on a child’s development is that of his or her father.” --Robert J. Doman Jr.
Kids are very impressionable from an early age. Scientific Mind magazine states that we "mentally imitate every action we witness..." (Scientific Mind, April/May 2006). Within David Dobbs article, "A Revealing Reflection", he shows how he tried sticking his tongue out at his son who was only a few hours old, only to have the new-born mimic that action as best as he was able to. If this is how a new-born acts, then one can only imagine the reaction that a fully-functioning kid of 5, 10 or 15-year-old might give. Everybody understands that we live what we learn. Oftentimes, we do what we do not want to do, but are compelled to do so - because that may be all we know.
As fathers, we need to decide how we would want our kids to act and respond to things when they are older. When we figure that out, then we just have to make sure we act the way we would want them to act. Sounds easy enough? Sure, we just have to be aware of every aspect our lives, and prepare for imitation!
If a man respects his wife, especially in front of the kids, then they will learn to respect and honour women - even if that woman is themselves. A boy will see Dad treat Mom with reverence and learn that women should be treated respectfully, gently, kindly and as an equal human being. Similarly, if a girl sees her Dad treat Mom with reverence, then that is what they aspire to and will not settle for anything less. When a boy starts to disrespect her in any way, she will immediately recognize that it is wrong and remove herself from the situation. Conversely, if a boy sees Dad belittling Mom, even abusing her physically, he will learn that is an acceptable way to achieve control and power - even if he did not like seeing it in the first place. Finally, what is possibly worse, if a girl sees Dad treating Mom negatively, she will subconsciously learn to expect that. She may hope for better but when better appears, she will often have trouble with that relationship because that is not what she is accustomed to. Girls grow up craving their father's love. Seeing abuse of Mom at the hands of Dad will teach the girl that is what love is. It may hurt, it may feel wrong - but maybe it is supposed to. Most people gravitate towards the familiar, and your kids will do that, too, so be careful how you treat your wife, it is one of the earliest marriage/partnership lessons your kids will learn - and will most likely stick with them the longest!
Stay REAL!
"Minute for minute, the single strongest influence on a child’s development is that of his or her father.” --Robert J. Doman Jr.
Kids are very impressionable from an early age. Scientific Mind magazine states that we "mentally imitate every action we witness..." (Scientific Mind, April/May 2006). Within David Dobbs article, "A Revealing Reflection", he shows how he tried sticking his tongue out at his son who was only a few hours old, only to have the new-born mimic that action as best as he was able to. If this is how a new-born acts, then one can only imagine the reaction that a fully-functioning kid of 5, 10 or 15-year-old might give. Everybody understands that we live what we learn. Oftentimes, we do what we do not want to do, but are compelled to do so - because that may be all we know.
As fathers, we need to decide how we would want our kids to act and respond to things when they are older. When we figure that out, then we just have to make sure we act the way we would want them to act. Sounds easy enough? Sure, we just have to be aware of every aspect our lives, and prepare for imitation!
If a man respects his wife, especially in front of the kids, then they will learn to respect and honour women - even if that woman is themselves. A boy will see Dad treat Mom with reverence and learn that women should be treated respectfully, gently, kindly and as an equal human being. Similarly, if a girl sees her Dad treat Mom with reverence, then that is what they aspire to and will not settle for anything less. When a boy starts to disrespect her in any way, she will immediately recognize that it is wrong and remove herself from the situation. Conversely, if a boy sees Dad belittling Mom, even abusing her physically, he will learn that is an acceptable way to achieve control and power - even if he did not like seeing it in the first place. Finally, what is possibly worse, if a girl sees Dad treating Mom negatively, she will subconsciously learn to expect that. She may hope for better but when better appears, she will often have trouble with that relationship because that is not what she is accustomed to. Girls grow up craving their father's love. Seeing abuse of Mom at the hands of Dad will teach the girl that is what love is. It may hurt, it may feel wrong - but maybe it is supposed to. Most people gravitate towards the familiar, and your kids will do that, too, so be careful how you treat your wife, it is one of the earliest marriage/partnership lessons your kids will learn - and will most likely stick with them the longest!
Stay REAL!