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chapter 5: Fireplace & Wildfires

12/3/2022

3 Comments

 
I am pretty sure I have mentioned that one of the reasons I like Robert Noland's writing so much is his ability to use metaphors. The initial one of the fireplace to sex is so bang on. The personal devastation it can cause being done in the wrong place is immense!
Besides that metaphor, the first passage that really struck me was at the bottom of page 58: "...all to often the people hurt and affected by the sexual wildfire that he set are more likely to later begin setting fires of their own, born from the pain and the wounds created in them." There is so much truth to this. As a high school guidance counselor for 13 years of my career, I have seen it so often that Dad or Mom has an affair, leaves the family to be with the other person, and the kids are left in limbo, believing that this is what love is - temporary, until something better comes along. No wonder kids start having sex earlier - it isn't deemed as important and the partner is seen as expendable. 
I would also like to look at the top of page 60 and make a confession. "The enemy will then use sex as a source of shame, guilt, and regret for many years, sometimes a lifetime, far past when the act is over." I didn't fully turn to the Lord until my mid-twenties. Before that, I abused God's gift of sex. While I know I have been forgiven of that, it is sometimes difficult to get past regret and the problems that it causes years later. It can become a thorn in one's flesh, as something can happen that will make you dredge it up. I know I need to be cautious in this area, because if I let my guard down, Satan will pounce - and it will likely be in the form of an attractive woman. You see, I had a parent who was unfaithful. Both of my brothers eventually had a child out of wedlock, and I was just fortunate not to. As parents, we have to guard this area!
The rest of the chapter is about pornography, so I want to leave it to you to discuss or think about. Just understand that if porn is a vice for you, you are not alone! The stats show that about 3/4 of men have a porn addiction of some sort - and being a Christian does not preclude you from that stat! In fact, the last stat I saw was that about 60% of pastors, struggle with pornography!! That blows my mind!
Protect your kids, men...at all costs, protect your kids!
3 Comments
A-Wreck
6/4/2022 10:57:06 pm

So two things generally stood out to me in this chapter
1. Satan hates sex p59
I wouldn't have thought of it that way. I'd assumed he loved it. But I think that I think that because of all the nastiness sex can involve and I assume that because of the portrayal of sex in our culture. We aren't surrounded by the idea that sex is beautiful, meaningful and certainly not that vital is holy... which leads to the 2nd point (whichvi have known for a while)
2. "... just as the Holy Spirit can transform our minds to the ways of God, the mind can also be transformed by constant exposure to evil"
I've often consciously tried to fight against the influence of my work environments because I would notice every so often how my behaviors and language was changing. For years I was surrounded by guys in the construction field who typically cursed often, drank heavily, took lunch breaks at strip clubs and were often less than prince charming when speaking of women. I didn't join them in those things but they slowly became easier to listen to, laugh at and even start to conform to (language wise).
But it's so easy, isn't it? And let's face it, by and large we as guys are pretty lazy. And easily distracted. Collectively we have "ADH...ooh shiny". So many temptations are all around us and pork especially. And I mean PORN is everywhere because pork isn't limited to what we first think it is... Remember Satan hates sex. And that has to broaden our definition of pornography. Porn is every corruption, twisting and misinterpretation of what sex is intended to be. Every sexual innuendo, every bouncing bikini clad babe in a beer commercial, half the outfits we see out on the street or shows on TV etc.
I'm not trying to be prudish but we do need to be aware of how easy it is to let temptation in even when we think we are guarding our minds, because we are simply becoming used to it.
"Good will be called evil and evil will be called good"

In chapter three discussion Brad noted the power of Romans 8 5-11... I remember because I just read it and commented on it, lol.
"... those who live according to the spirit set their minds on the things of the spirit... ... Those who are in the flesh cannot please God"

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
Phil.4:8

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A-wreck
3/5/2022 12:41:29 pm

Okay I'm going to reply to myself ... firstly because I just noticed that in several places auto correct substituted the word "pork" and it just sounds like I have a hate on for bacon and chops
Secondly - it's becoming ironic that we are reading (or supposed to be reading) a book to encourage openess and accountability among brother and we're all squirrels away on the sidelines like grade 7 boys at their first school dance... (apologies to any who don't agree with dancing - hey, lets talk about it!!)
Thisvstuffs not easy to talk about maybe but hey I'm sure some of us have got into serious Facebk arguments with people over worserer topics than this!
(Yes I misspelled that intentionally)
Some of you don't particularly enjoy Nolands writing (I'm a Kyle Idleman; Francis Chan guy myself) but he does have an easy conversational tone and something to say. I've taken some serious reflection from these pages and where I haven't really liked something (not a fan of The Message translation) it got me to delve into the Bible (y'know, the right translation! - c'mon... someone say something)!!

Okay al kidding aside - because some of you could knock me out of the park in a biblical argument - Brad has put a lot of thought effort and money into this exercise ... the very purpose of Real Dads is to support each other.
Iron sharpens Iron... and a bunch of you know how dull I am..

Reply
St. John's Sex link
10/5/2025 03:17:21 am

The metaphor comparing sex to a wildfire and its devastating consequences resonates deeply with me.

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