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chapter 5: Fireplace & Wildfires

12/3/2022

2 Comments

 
I am pretty sure I have mentioned that one of the reasons I like Robert Noland's writing so much is his ability to use metaphors. The initial one of the fireplace to sex is so bang on. The personal devastation it can cause being done in the wrong place is immense!
Besides that metaphor, the first passage that really struck me was at the bottom of page 58: "...all to often the people hurt and affected by the sexual wildfire that he set are more likely to later begin setting fires of their own, born from the pain and the wounds created in them." There is so much truth to this. As a high school guidance counselor for 13 years of my career, I have seen it so often that Dad or Mom has an affair, leaves the family to be with the other person, and the kids are left in limbo, believing that this is what love is - temporary, until something better comes along. No wonder kids start having sex earlier - it isn't deemed as important and the partner is seen as expendable. 
I would also like to look at the top of page 60 and make a confession. "The enemy will then use sex as a source of shame, guilt, and regret for many years, sometimes a lifetime, far past when the act is over." I didn't fully turn to the Lord until my mid-twenties. Before that, I abused God's gift of sex. While I know I have been forgiven of that, it is sometimes difficult to get past regret and the problems that it causes years later. It can become a thorn in one's flesh, as something can happen that will make you dredge it up. I know I need to be cautious in this area, because if I let my guard down, Satan will pounce - and it will likely be in the form of an attractive woman. You see, I had a parent who was unfaithful. Both of my brothers eventually had a child out of wedlock, and I was just fortunate not to. As parents, we have to guard this area!
The rest of the chapter is about pornography, so I want to leave it to you to discuss or think about. Just understand that if porn is a vice for you, you are not alone! The stats show that about 3/4 of men have a porn addiction of some sort - and being a Christian does not preclude you from that stat! In fact, the last stat I saw was that about 60% of pastors, struggle with pornography!! That blows my mind!
Protect your kids, men...at all costs, protect your kids!
2 Comments

Chapter four: the lure of lust

5/3/2022

4 Comments

 
Another meaningful chapter if you are trying to change your habits and your life. Lust is such a hidden for many men. If you never struggle with it, good for you! But then take Noland's advice at the end of the chapter (page 51) and "pray for your brothers, the guys in your circles, who need to take action to end their sin and addiction".
Right off the bat, Noland breaks down lust to be "trying to meet a need on our own, rather than giving the authority to God and allowing Him to meet the need in His way" (page 43). This is after stating that lust is not a sexual issue but a heart problem. He continues to go beyond the superficial and talks to the root of the problem, which is something we need to do in all areas of our lives. This may be new to many of us as we may just assume or dismiss lust as a sexual issue. Yes, it manifests itself in a sexual way, but isn't it true that it really is a heart problem (like all sin)?
A big part of the chapter is spent talking about Dawson McAllister's definition of lust: "Caring more for a woman's body than her soul" (page 45). There is such truth to that! I was always told that when you feel lust towards a woman remember that she is someone's little girl. That used to not mean all that much to me...until I had a little girl of my own! Now, that "little girl" is a 19-year-old beautiful woman, and I would be lying if I said that I am not on the look out for men leering at her when I am with her. My favourite line is: I don't mind going back to jail! ;) When you look at woman as someone's little girl, it really does change your perspective on them and it changes your thoughts towards them.
I can see a theme developing with Noland. That is of being on the offensive and not staying defensive. I like this thought a lot and want to try to incorporate it into my daily life, in all areas. If, on the offensive, you are caring for the souls of women, then you are not so much on the defensive of trying to not lust. This makes a lot of sense to me and solidifies the concept of offensive vs. defensive. 
​Anyway, much can be said here, and I don't want to try to say it all, but please let us all know what you think!
4 Comments

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